I pissed off God

Ok, clearly I pissed off God...that or I'm being severely punished for something...

I am leaving for the Dominican Republic on May 14th (NOT punishment) - guess what I received in the mail today? A Jury Summons for...you guessed it, May 14th. This was the point at which I officially decided that God is mad at me and decided to write this blog.

Will said that maybe God is mad at me for not blogging for so long and that he was going to keep throwing things at me until it drove me to blog. He won!

Let us recap last week:
Monday - The boss is out of town, not only do I start getting sick, but I call Dr. M about the letter I received with the results of the x-rays of my back and the IDIOT receptionist refuses to give me the "permission slip" to have the MRI that is recommended in the letter they mailed to my house. She said that I absolutely HAD to come in and see the doctor before they'd give me the slip. I argued with her and explained that I did not have another hour and a half to waste waiting in the waiting room/exam room before the doctor got around to seeing me. (That happened on the 4th and I was still QUITE bitter 12 days later). "No exceptions" she said, so I said, "Good Bye". I call the chiropractor, Dr. J, that my mom, aunt AND uncle all go to. The receptionist there answers after 1 ring (not after 5 minutes of hold music like at Dr. M's office) - I state that I am a new patient and would like a Saturday appointment. She offers me that Saturday at noon and I about fall over at the difference in service. I schedule the appointment and hope that things will continue to go as well.

Tuesday - I wake up feeling miserable and know that MM who was getting sick at exactly the same time I was the prior day, had to be feeling as crappy as I was and would undoubtedly be calling in sick. This is extra bad, because MM is covering for another person and is in effect like having 2 people out. Also bad, because the boss was still out of town and would be for the remainder of the week. I drag myself to work. Allow me to remind you that the boss is out of town and this is a very bad thing. I cannot elaborate further as this is a public blog, but trust me it's bad.

Wednesday - Let's just say that I can't talk/stop coughing and there is a team meeting where the 2 people that coordinated the meeting are not there.

Thursday - One more manager down, leaving sick me and the manager with undisclosed issues. I decide that I cannot bear to bring myself to attend bowling (partially in fear of bowling an even lower game than my 46 of the prior week - if that's even possible) and head home. My father in law calls me about 9:45 PM and tells me that his mother is in the hospital and isn't expected to make it through the night. The hubby doesn't have his cell with him (he forgets it pretty frequently, but it's part of his charm) so I have to wait until he gets home from his bowling league. I tell him what's going on and he decides to go to the hospital to see her and be there for his dad, despite his parents insistance that we shouldn't come since "there's nothing we could do". We decide that since I am hacking up a lung it might not be a good idea for me to go to the hospital and potentially infect the poor sick people with more sickness.

Friday - I am all alone with 45 freaks after 2:00 PM...mind you I'm sick, my back is killing me, and I'm supposed to be going to the Quakes game if the rain stops. It continues raining, the hubby doesn't want to go to the Quakes game and I'm entering severe depression/need to find something to wear to EHW's birthday extravaganza on Saturday. Answer? Retail therapy. I find out that EHW's grandma is in the hospital too. :(

Saturday - I go to the chiropractor. He reads the x-ray report and confirms that my back is royally screwed up and can't be "fixed" - basically all I can do is manage the pain. He suggests I consider a reduction and I start crying. Actually this is good news, because it means that I am not a wimp and that there's stuff I can do to feel better. He does a couple of things and my back actually feels good. I need to go to a new primary care doctor and get an MRI before he can do more. I go to EHW's birthday extravaganza...lots of people are late and EHW is worried about her grandma. :(

Sunday - I lay on the couch all day because I did too much crap on Saturday and never rested while I was sick. Will's grandma dies around 7:30 PM. This means that not only will the big boss be in town for training this week, but I will have to miss work for the funeral. In addition I need to ask my boss for vacation time. And let him know about my back drama and need to schedule doctor's appointments and MRIs. I have to share details so he doesn't think I'm pregnant.

Monday - Yep went as poorly as planned (but got the vacation time approved!) Picked up my kitchen island from the UPS Customer Center - yes that's right, UPS allegedly attempted delivery 3 times during crappy week...Will went to pick up on Friday but it didn't fit in his car, so we had to drive to San Bernardino and pick it up. Got home and found the Jury Summons in the mailbox.

SIGH!

Welcome to the Maternity Ward

I'm having difficulty keeping track of all the people I know that are pregnant so...

Misty - girl
Lorraine - boy
Jessica - boy
Colleen - girl
Irina - TBD
Bianka - TBD
Becca - TBD (don't really know her, but I feel like I know her)
Kim - I dunno
Tiffany - TBD
Corinne - TBD
Plus 3 other people from high school that I don't really keep track of anymore.

Talk about a baby boom!!

I love my Pilot!

We got a new Honda Pilot last Wednesday and I LOVE IT!!!! The hubby got all of the bells and whistles installed after-market and once they are all 100% working and my windows are tinted and the tow hitch is on, I will be ECSTATIC.

The last two days have pretty much sealed the deal that I love my Pilot even more than I loved my Accord (2003 EX white coupe, tan interior). Yesterday morning I'm on the freeway going about 70 mph when all of a sudden there is a ladder laying in my lane (the car in front of me swerved at the last minute narrowly missing it). Knowing that I'm in a SUV and could roll easily and that I was fairly high up, I do not swerve as wildly as I would have in my low to the ground, demon possessed Lexus. I run over the ladder with my front driver's side tire. No loud noises and no severe jarring...basically it felt like I drove over a speed bump. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! Imagine what would have happened in the Lexus?!

This morning there was a motorcycle accident that caused the 91 to be down to a single lane at Pierce. My kick ass navigation system also has XM Traffic Alert. It paid for itself today. Typically when there's an accident reported I play phone a friend to determine where traffic breaks up and where I can get back on the freeway. Navi does this for me! Not only does it shade my route (extremely accurately) in either green, yellow, or red for the average speed of travel, but it puts an alert button at the place of the accident and at the place traffic begins flowing freely. If I click on the button I get details of the accident/point of free flow. How AMAZING is that?! It will also tell me the average speed for a particular stretch of freeway. I'm in love.

This brings up another topic - motorcycle accidents on the 91. Seriously, with all of the carnage I've seen/sat through over the last few years, I don't see how anyone could see the benefit of zipping through traffic to be worth the substantially increased risk of becoming road kill. I know someone that was killed on a motorcycle within 5 miles of his house and someone that was killed by a drunk driver late at night riding home from work, but rush hour motorcycle riders are IDIOTS!! I still can't get the image of the guy that ended up on top of a semi trailer out of my head.

What We Discovered at The Ponda Center:

My sistor took me to the Christina Aguilera concert on Monday for my birthday (thanks again sistor!). Here are our observations:

1. orange haired asian man - yes an asian man that tried to bleach his hair - orange was the result
2. horse lady - no joke, wearing riding pants and boots with a sweater...she was just missing the helmet
3. pretty black family - very attractive and wholesome mom, dad, and two sons. not snooty or trashy...quite the rarity it appears
4. dooney and burke - 12 year old girls carrying D&B purses...real ones...are you kidding me?!
5. the cutest gay couple ever!!!! They totally rocked out throughout the entire concert...we loved them!!!
6. the dads and boyfriends - all "forced" to tag along of course
7. brown high top converse - words cannot explain...
8. boob lady- one of her boobs is two of yours - this is not an exaggeration
9. green sweater vest - why is it that the Ponda Center thinks green sweater vests are a good look for their ushers?
10. wannabe christina next to me and her high on drugs husband - She looked like a bad impression of Gwen Stefani...Christina is going for the classy look right now (thankfully! I hated the dirrty phase) and this chick was a little too funky...much more Gwen. no comment on the husband...they both annoyed me
11. "its starting and no one is here... thats the oc for you" - concert started at 7:30...Danity Kane and PCD opened...that took an hour. It wasn't until after the PCDs started that most of the seats were filled...seriously?!
12. moms in their 18 year old daughters clothes - if you have to wonder whether they are mom/daughter or sisters, that's a bad sign.
13. lesbian he-she two rows in front of us - she made a particular vendor of mine look feminine
14. black lady with hooker boots, booty shorts, and vest to match - for some reason I can't remember this chick
15. moms buying their 14 year old daughters Pussy Cat Doll sweatshirts that read "Loosen up my buttons" - HELL NO! would my daughter be allowed to wear ANYTHING that said Pussy or Loose prior to her 18th birthday, nor would I EVER buy it for her.
16. quick - compare Britney to Christina - who's laughing now? Christina was absolutely beautiful and that girl has pipes!!! Poor, poor Britney!

Possibly one of the coolest things ever...

Does loving this product make me strange?
https://www.cleverclasp.com/

Seriously...isn't it amazing?

The marketing could be a little better though...they show an old lady, but I think of other things...no nail breaking, no early AM struggling, HUGE time saver, the list goes on...

Another trip to my least favorite place...

So when faced with the following dilemma, I made the wrong choice.

Dilemma:
Go to Wal-Mart which is less than 5 miles from my house to get detergent
-OR-
Go to Target which is aobut 15 miles away.

I opted for Wal-Mart and had the experience which will now begin my boycott of all Wal-Marts in the land.

Historically, WM is the one store that always has liquid Tide HE. Today they didn't. Having my emergency box of detergent at home, I decided that it wasn't a crisis, and would just pick up the blue fabric softener and head home. I'd visit Target tomorrow for a complete shopping trip and get the appropriate product then. No blue fabric softener...which I learned it Water Lily & Jasmine. Annoyed I grabbed the purple one - Vanilla & Lavender and prayed that it wouldn't be too girly.

I battle my way to the check out and go to pay with my debit card...on the screen is the following question: "Was the store clean today?" I literally burst out laughing. I selected "No" and was then allowed to continue with my transaction. Are they serious?

I get out to the parking lot and head to where I thought I'd parked. My car wasn't there. I'd remembered the butthead in a jalopy that had turned in front of me at the last minute stealing my spot. I head off to where I thought I'd ended up parking. My car wasn't there. I wandered around the parking lot for about 5 minutes until I found my car with the following thoughts running through my head:
-Did someone steal my car in the 10 minutes I was in the store?
-Are Kim1Champ's parking lot issues contagious?
-Did I really lose my car in the parking lot after only 10 minutes?
-(flash of the commercial where the old lady loses her car in the parking lot and relys on a recording device) Do I need to start recording where I park?
-How retarded do I look?!

Thankfully I found my car and returned home to write about my adventures at WM.

Laundry

My loving husband, who is off every other Friday thanks to his 9/80 work schedule, typically does the laundry in our house - generally just clothes and towels. (He also cooks and takes care of our furries - the dog and cat). I am responsible for purchasing all necessary household items and I ALWAYS ask if he needs anything before I go shopping - this will be important later on. (I generally dislike shopping and tend to shop only when necessary.)

Being the wonderful husband that he is, the last load of laundry was just completed when he offered to run to Panda Express to pick up lunch (quite the Saturday tradition for us). I said that I would take it out, since I needed to wash all of the new bedding I got for our bedroom.

Since we are 99.9% not moving, I've begun the (re)decorating of our house. It's a bit of a hodge-podge right now and I'm going for a calming and neutral mix of blues and browns. Last weekend I used all of my LNT gift cards and purchased a mountain of new bedding in slate blue and chocolate brown.

But I digress...

I strip the old bedding from our bed and decide to wash the mattress pad first. I stick it in the washer and reach for the liquid detergent...empty. I sigh and pull out the drawer for my back up supply of powder that I know is there because I switched to liquid shortly after buying the washer and didn't bother to finish the powder. I saved it for an emergency such as this, or so I tell the pack-rat in myself. I reach for the fabric softener - the blue one that's a special scent -you know, one of the blue, purple, or pink ones - empty. I reach for the boring April Fresh bottle - also empty. I start laughing. While my darling husband does not return the milk carton to the fridge empty, apparently he is guilty in the laundry arena. Not wanting to postpone the start of this load, I hold both empty bottles upside down in hopes of getting just enough fabric softener to fill up the cup to "MIN".

It's my lucky day!!!! By combining both the April Fresh and special blue scent (I forget exactly what the combo of scents are - they just smell good!) I get just enough to start the load. YAY!!!

The husband returns and I ask him if he knew the bottles were empty. Our conversation goes something like this:
Wife: Did you know the detergent and fabric softener bottles were empty?
Husband: Yes, that's why I told you we needed more (true statement).
Wife: Why didn't you throw the bottles away then?
Husband: I thought you might be able to get a little bit more out of each bottle.
Wife: (I can't really argue since that is exactly what I just did.) Why didn't you tell me we needed more then?
Husband: I just did.

If my husband were the light that comes on when your car is low on gas, he would turn on right as the last drop of gas was being used. I love him!