Trainer - Session 2 1/15

First, I'd like to thank Bianka and McDonalds for helping me get home tonight without slipping towards the light. Were it not for Bianka's conversation and bottled Dasani and a Fruit and Walnut Salad, I'd probably be slumped over on the side of the 91 wondering if my heart was ever going to stop pounding or if I'd ever stop gasping for breath. Does that give you any idea how Session 2 went?

Session 1 and my dedication over the last week lured me into a false sense of security. I'd survived walk #2 with mom without feeling that I would die so I thought I was adequately prepared for Session 2. I even made the mistake of telling my Asian, football playing trainer that I wanted to hurt tomorrow. Apparently, he thought that meant that he should work me until I was hurting TONIGHT! I'm stubborn, everyone knows that. I absolutely refuse to fail. I always go above and beyond the minimum expectation - tonight I underachieved.

On the agenda after a little warm up was basic push ups, lunges, and various other exercises involving nothing more than a pair of 5 lb dumbbells. Sounds easy enough right? WRONG!! The # of reps was FAR greater than the cute little numbers that were on my "workout plan". I remember seeing the #12, I suffered through the first set of 20 reps. I was granted a water break...when I returned I think Little Asian Trainer was a bit concerned that he might kill the obese 25 year old so he shorted the reps to 12. I think I made it half way thru each of the components. I rocked the crunches (never would have guessed that one - have you seen my stomach?!), rowing, and curls while standing on one foot. I about died doing the pushups, mountain climber, and evil hold where I was in the guy version of a pushup but not moving, just holding. I was granted water break #2. Set 3 was a disaster, LAT sort of gave up on me and gave me a smaller set when I would collapse. I think he seriously thought I was going to pass out because he kept asking me if I was okay every 10 seconds - that was ANNOYING!!!

In true Jenn fashion, I didn't cry. I thought about the cruel injustice of having to watch my fat jiggle in the mirror as I did jumping lunges (no I will not demonstrate!) and pondered whether I would, in fact, get black eyes from my boobs (that must have been the reason LAT stayed a safe distance off to the side). Finally we were done trying to make my body do things that inched me closer to death by the second and went downstairs to the bikes. I say downstairs while thinking to myself "THANK GOD IT'S DOWN AND NOT UP!". As it was, I had to hold on the to railing so as not to tumble down the stairs.

Interval training. I've been riding the bike for 20-30 minutes almost every time I've gone to the gym. LAT wanted me to ride for 20 minutes while varying my speed and resistance while trying to keep my heart rate low enough so that I wouldn't have a heart attack. I last approximately 4 minutes before a massive cramp took over my right quadricep. The very same quadricep he had observed last week that was attached to my hip with a very short/tight ligament (or something like that - hey I haven't taken anatomy yet). I stopped. LAT made me stretch. Then he said we were done. I felt that I had failed. He repeatedly suggested that I get a bottle of water on my way home and eat a good dinner when I got there so that my body could recover.

Feeling like a cripple I staggered back to the locker room to get my stuff. I stumbled to my car, cursing the fact that it was approximately 50 degrees outside and that I had had to park almost in front of Lowes because the gym was so crowded with all of the new years resolution band wagon jumpers. Two things: 1) For those of you who have never gone to 24HF in Anahem/Fullerton, it's off of Lemon and the 91(northeast side) - check out the distance between 24HF and Lowes and you'll feel my pain 2) I realize that I technically fall under the NYR band wagon jumper category, however...much like the January 2 years ago when I stopped drinking soda pretty much permanently, it's a lifestyle change, not a NYR. When all of the other schmucks stop going, I'm going to continue working out and eating better. But I digress...

I went to McDonalds after stumbling to my car (drive-thru of course) and ordered 2 bottles of Dasani and a Fruit and Walnut salad. Why is it that the McDonalds in the EXACT same parking lot as 24 Hour Fitness has two of the largest people I've ever seen actually employed working the drive thru? There's got to be some sort of correlation there. I'm not being mean, it's just that I swear 24HF had to plant them there to make people feel guilty enough to join the gym. One day when I'm skinny, I'm going to sit in the parking lot right in front of the front door of 24HF and eat a Big Mac. Until then, I will continue to allow LAT to torment me (I'm going again next Monday - I'm a glutton for punishment - this is not anything new), I will enjoy my new favorite item at McDonalds, and resist the urge to surrender when I can't get out of bed tomorrow morning.

If the pain I'm in right now is any indication, I 100% understand why Rach's sister, Kim, had exactly 1 session with a personal trainer. As I was pulling into my driveway after my hour long drive home, I thought, "I don't feel so bad, I was just being a wimp. I should have sucked it up and done more." Then I opened my car door and got out and about fell on the garage floor. I contemplated leaving everything in the car and crawling to the door and down my long hallway to my couch, but I didn't want to make my loving husband (who was already cooking me dinner) to have to go back out into the refrigerated garage to clean out my car. I grabbed my stuff, fell through the door, about fell onto my stupid cat, and stumbled to the couch where Will promptly brought me dinner and my laptop to document the experience. I LOVE HIM!!!!